Watch me…drown in my own light,
Watch me…darken my own skies
Watch me…lose touch of what is real
Watch me…drown in this feeling– Ellena Soule, “Wolves”
Sometimes I darken my own skies. I stumble and fall out of line. The days that are hardest for me are those in which I feel so very profoundly and wonder what’s wrong with me. Pages in my books go unwritten. Texts remain unanswered. Questions about my impact on this world are raised.
So what’s the trick to keeping on? To not losing hope?
I believe it’s one thing above all else: Embrace the struggle.
If there’s one theme that keeps cropping up again and again in my writing, it’s that we are capable of enduring so much more than we realize. It’s only after the headaches and dropped phone calls at work, after the first death of a loved one and the last finish line, that a new side of ourselves emerges. It’s scary; I look in the mirror and realize that I’m very different than before, even though very little has changed on the outside. Sometimes the wolves I’m running from are right there in the mirror, too.
The same goes for you. Your pain and uncertainty are real, and they suck sometimes. Please keep going. The fog lifts. Those puddles will dry up. The wolves will move on.
So many of us will still be here when you emerge from that tunnel, ready to lift you up with critiques of your writing, or a warm hug, or an open ear.
Back to the writing grind! I’ll be moving forward with new book reviews, writing tidbits, and my usual musings on all the dang work that goes into becoming an author. If you’d like to see me write about anything else in particular, I’m happy to take your suggestions!